The true meaning of life - the Zach Sobiech story

I had the opportunity to witness something really powerful this morning.

It is a 20 minute video, but well worth watching. I am sure you will be as deeply impacted as I was.

"You don't have to find out you are dying to start living" - Zach Sobiech

Walk with Me - Season #6 in Europe

After a long offseason, my sixth season of professional baseball has finally began. While I was laying in bed today, it dawned on me that the Stockerau Cubs are the 10th team I have played for professionally. I would never have thought a few years ago that my baseball career could have spanned across three continents and half of the United States.

It has not been an easy journey for sure. Just one that I have made happen through diligence, hard work and determination.

I remember sitting in class when I was in middle school and having the teacher ask what we wanted to do when we grew up. The usual answers were seen in regards to lawyers, doctors, teachers, etc. I vividly remember standing up and saying that I wanted to play baseball for a living. The teacher kind of scoffed and he asked that I kindly rethink my decision.

I was slightly embarrassed, but he just stated what seemed obvious to everyone else. I was the shortest kid in class and didn't have an ounce of muscle on my body. In theory he was probably right, but I couldn't take his deterrent as an insult. Just like he had his opinion, I had mine. I knew what my goal in life was.

It is true that I have never played in the big leagues or gotten any higher than good minor league baseball. I have never made the type of money that many probably thought I have either.

I know the facts when it comes to that.

But, I also know what it feels like to play in front of a few thousand fans. I know what it feels like to give away a few baseballs away to make a kids day. I even know what the long bus rides, countless hours of shagging batting practice and charting in the stands really entails.

It is not about the stardom of being a big leaguer that really drives me though. In fact, it never really has. I have not settled; just have an overwhelming feeling of being happy with where I am and where I have come from.

It is the feeling that I get sitting by my locker, knowing that I've done everything in power to make my dreams come true. I don't need the approval of someone else to make me feel like my walk in life is justified.

As for baseball here in Europe, I made my 2013 debut with a seven inning outing against the reigning champions of the Austrian Baseball League and European Cup qualifier, Vienna Wanderers. I struck out 11 in the outing and overcame some early wildness to limit the opposition to a handful of hits. We won the game 7-6 and currently sit in first place with a 4-1 record.

I have been able to get a few at-bats and despite the early rust, hit my first ever home run in our last series against the Wr. Neustadt Diving Ducks. Hitting a homerun has been the one thing that I have always wanted to experience.

Fittingly enough it happened this year.

Thank you to Stockerau for giving me this wonderful opportunity.

God Bless.

Europe - Summer 2013

It has been nearly eight months since my last post, so I'm sure I have plenty to catch everyone up with.

Last summer ended with me being released from the Southern Illinois Miners and I spent the off-season working as a pitching instructor with High Heat Baseball Academy and a media relations director at UMES. I've had the chance to step away from the game this past winter; a strategy that I used to relax and clear my head. In the time that I spent working with High Heat, I met several people that have made a big impact on my life. From the kids, to the parents, to instructors, the organization is the real deal. I’m thankful to don the blue and white.

As for my baseball career, I knew after last summer that I needed a break from ball in the United States. Whether it was being traded in the middle of the night, to failing a physical or even getting released … I was over it. I was also caught up in the job security game and found myself in the middle of a very stressful way of living. The baseball season could not have ended quick enough. 

After the whole ordeal, I figured that it was time to trade my jersey in for an office job. My thoughts all led me to this conclusion as it seemed like the only logical choice at the time.

Soon enough, though, baseball crept back into my life. The good thoughts came running back into my head.

I remembered dancing in the clubhouse, celebrating wins and after game festivities with the team. It was the positive memories that really propelled me to want to give baseball another go. There was no more negativity. Just a final decision.

I needed baseball in my life. I needed to give it one last go.

One more chance to walk away on a good note. 

A “victory” lap if you will.

Fast forward several months and I find myself on a plane bound for Vienna, Austria. I’ve signed to pitch with the Stockerau Cubs in the Austrian Baseball League. Soon enough, I will be completely involved with European baseball. The structure of the club is much like that in club baseball in Australia. There is an elite division with several feeder teams beneath it. There is also a youth program and women’s team.

As for the baseball, the level of competition is not on the same level as it is in the United States. That is okay though, because I’m excited about the travels and friendships ahead. I’ve heard a lot of great things about baseball over here in the fact that it’s team-oriented, relaxing and fun. The clubs are thirsty for championships and although everyone wants to win, playing the game right is what really matters. It sounds so much like club baseball in Australia, and I know how much I enjoyed every bit of pitching two years with Essendon.

So here I am just flying over Ireland at 6 a.m. local time. As I look out the window, I'm excited about the prospects ahead. I know this is where I am supposed to be at this point of my life. It's all about making the right decisions. 

And I know for me, it is playing baseball in Europe this summer.

God Bless.

Humble Beginnings

July 2, 2009

It's been nearly a week since the three year anniversary of the head injury that I sustained in El Paso, Texas.

July 2nd will always stand as an anniversary to me.

It's a day where my world was changed forever; a time where I grew to become a stronger and better person. I've been able to see, feel and be apart of so many wonderful things since that day. The blessings I have received in it's wake are hardly describable through words.

All because God decided it was not my time to come home...

This date was particularly important to me this year because it was the first time I have had the chance to take the field on the day since I was injured. I was placed on the inactive list in 2010 and was recovering from a sore shoulder last year. Although I did not pitch on the date this year, just being active and on the field brought about an emotional day for me.

After my second brain surgery

Yes, the scars have faded and I have been able to regain my strength, but I will never forget what happened that day. As much as I have tried to forget it, I cannot and will never be able to. It's as much a part of me as anything in my life.

It's a day that I've grown to look at with a smile.

There are so many wonderful things that I have been blessed with since that day. Originally, I looked at the day as a time of misfortune and bad luck. The more time has passed though, I can see how much it has lightened my life. I have evolved into a new person with a much different attitude towards the world.

July 2, 2009 was a day that made me start over again. I had to begin taking small steps towards a new way of living. The time period after I was hit brought about its share of of darkness, insecurity and pain, but I never stopped taking small steps towards the big picture.

Happiness.

The injury date was a humbling experience that forced me to begin from ground level. It taught me about the importance of small steps and how the word of God cannot be sped up. He is going to do things in His time...not in mine.

I have learned that the process can be slowed down.

You have to start small to achieve your goal. So what does this mean for you? Start small today...

I'll leave you with a word in Zechariah 4:6, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit says the Lord Almighty"

July 2, 2012 ... three years later in St. Louis, Mo.

Victory in the name of Jesus

I'd like to begin in saying that this post may be one of the most difficult posts that I have had to write in recent times. I've taken on a substantial amount of adversity in my travels through baseball, but none may compare to what has happened over the past two weeks. This has been a period of deep reflection and confusion, as my world has been rocked to a degree that few moments of my life can compare.

Just two weeks ago, everything seemed fine. I had been throwing well and was really enjoying everything related to the game. The team was winning, a solid of turnout of fans were coming to the games and everyone was having fun. The situation fit just right; it was a place that I had longed to be a part of.

Everything felt perfect.

And then...two weeks ago, I received word the team had decided to go other ways with me. They had decided to trade me to the River City Rascals in St. Louis. To say that I was surprised may be an understatement, but I was respectful after hearing the news and accepted the change that was coming my way.

I said my good byes to my teammates and packed up my equipment. I wanted to be a part of one more round of batting practice with the team so I grabbed my glove and made my way to the field. I felt out of place for the first time while in Schaumburg, but I knew that had to embrace the new opportunity ahead.

River City is a team that is six hours south of Schaumburg and is located in O'Fallon, a small suburb west of St. Louis. I did not get into the game on my first day, but was ready in case the opportunity presented itself. The next day I had to drive into St. Louis to take a physical for the team. I figured it would be an easy process.

I was wrong.

To make a long story short, the organization failed me because of my prior head injury from 2009. The trade was cancelled and I was property of Schaumburg once more. The league would then give the Boomers a five day time period to decide what to do with me. The time passed and I found out on the last night that I would be granted a release. I was now a free agent.

My biggest fear in this world is to have my head injury be the reason my career is cut short. To be honest, losing the battle to it would be the ultimate blow to the person I have become.

I was now in this situation.

But how did I respond?...in every way, shape and form that I could.

I pressed. I panicked. I tried to do everything myself.

I saw a shattered baseball career and I figured that I was the only one that could resurrect it.

Days after the entire ordeal unfolded, a friend instructed me that I needed to lay it all down and let God take the reigns. It was the truth, but I was too stubborn to listen. I remember thinking, "How could God ever fix this situation?"

I thought that I was the only one that had the power to create change.
Then I went for a run in a park last Thursday night and realized that my friend was completely right. As I took some time to reflect after the run, I realized everything that I had been doing was wrong.

I then did what every Christian is taught to do.

I prayed. And I prayed a prayer that was longer and deeper than I have in recent times.

At that moment, I laid everything down. I accepted what had happened and what was about to happen. I was done with the push and told our Savior that it was now his battle to fight. For the second time in my life, I instructed God to take control of my life and guide me accordingly...

I was set to head home two days later and began to look at jobs back in Maryland. The last night I was supposed to be there, I stayed at a friend's house in St. Louis to relax before the long drive home. It was a good night, particularly because I did not feel pressured anymore.

Just as I turned my phone on that night, I saw that I had received a message.

It took my breath away. 

It was the Southern Illinois Miners on the phone and they needed a pitcher the next day.

Victory in the name of Jesus.

James tells us in James 1:1-2, Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

Surrender your life to God, he always knows what is best for you. God Bless.

A Solid Foundation

The initial stages of this year have brought everything from extra innings to blowouts and pitchers duels to hitting explosions. There has been much more baseball played than games normally provide as a handful of the contests have gone beyond just nine innings of play. The team is composed of just about every type of person you can imagine. There is an interesting dynamic in the clubhouse; a team that features class clowns alongside book worms and experienced minor league prospects suiting up next to recent college graduates.


It's an interesting mixture that is for sure.

When I first signed with the Boomers in March, I immediately saw that there was a focus on building a strong clubhouse. Whether it was the coaching staff thinking that was the key to a winning team or just my interpretation of it, the group assembled has worked well for the new franchise.There is variety for sure, but with it has brought success and a bit of fun.

A look at our record is enough to see this.

8-4.

From a player's perspective, there is nothing better than playing with a group of guys who have your back night in and night out. I often reference how things were in the past, particularly because I want the audience to see how much different things are around these parts of town. It is my belief that wherever you go there are always the select few that distinguish themselves on another level, but maybe that is just baseball. 

Life is really what you want to make out it, right?

Thinking about laying a solid foundation brought me to a passage from Matthew 7:25, "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

Much like Christians having a strong faith and a strong ground to stand on, a clubhouse must feature the same type of setup. When the going gets tough, a strong support group may be the difference between overcoming adversity or caving into failure.

Speaking of Christians, there is a strong group of us within the clubhouse. It's a group that is slowly growing. A brotherhood has begun to develop as several of us have been able to speak our thoughts on different passages and have been able to break them down amongst each other. A connection of being able to confess our sins and confide personal information has turned into a successful technique for us as well. I'm sure it will develop into positive and productive relationships that we all will be able to enjoy.

We leave bright and early tomorrow morning for Southern Illinois. Tonight's triumph is one that will surely carry over into tomorrow and it's one that we can all build on.

See you all in Marion.

God Bless.

Graduation and New Beginnings

It's been a while since I have last posted, particularly because my schedule has been so incredibly busy as of late. Whether it be training for baseball, finishing up with job in sports information or putting the final touches on my grad degree...I have been one busy guy. The past month has been an exciting time frame; a period where I have been able to enjoy change and accept new beginnings.

As I write to you today, I have received my Masters of Education from Salisbury University. My degree in Post-Secondary Education was one that did not come easy. It only seems like yesterday that I left my job as a sports information graduate assistant to pursue a career in professional baseball. The trips to Australia, seasons in El Paso and endeavors in Chico...all happened because of the risk I took resigning from my position in 2009.

It's a decision that I do not regret.

I returned to school this past year and my hard work has finally paid off. The entire process has been God's work in me; a stanza of my life that has taught me lessons that I will forever remember. I have learned more about life during this period than any other time previously.

God is good. Thank you for your graciousness.

As for baseball...

The Schaumburg Boomers are much different than any other baseball organization that I have played with in the past. There is class, structure and most of all, organization. It feels good to head off to a park that has order on how things are being done. It's a great incentive for players to perform on the field when they have such rewards to come home to at night.

Over the past few years, I have documented my time playing minor league baseball in several different cities. Whether it be seeing snakes in the clubhouse, pitching on fields that are spray painted green, having to ride on a bus to games for 24 hours at a time, playing at high school fields, or seeing an abundance of insects in the showers...I have really seen it all.

 In my four years with the same organization, I always wondered what it would be like to play somewhere else. I knew that things were better in other places, but always found reasons to enjoy the situation that I was in. The conditions never really bothered me all to much because I just wanted to play baseball. My dream of playing professional baseball would not be tarnished because of poor conditions. But again, there was always the temptations that raced through my head in regards to a change of scenery.

I wanted to feel what professional baseball was like off the field.

Well, my wish must have been granted. I'm in a situation now where everything is done the way it should be. From the front office down, everyone has done an exceptional job laying the groundwork for the Schaumburg Boomers. I know it is early in the season, but all the signs point towards this being an organization that is not only here to stay, but prosper as well.

It's an opportunity that I am blessed to have been given a chance to be a part of.

God Bless.

Unfinished Business

Over the past few years, I have documented my experiences in effort to have a written trail of this incredible journey I've been on. This entire blog has been therupeutic and fun, but it goes beyond just that.

I've been able to show, in writing, how I've felt in different stanzas of my life. I've displayed a mixture of emotion, some positive and some negative.

It goes without saying that the injury I sustained three years ago should have taken my life and my baseball career. I fully realize how blessed and fortunate I am.

As I begged the surgeons not put me into emergency surgery that July night, never did I think that three years later I would have the same ambitions I had prior to 2009. I always hoped that I would find it, but it was nothing more than hope. I was desperate to hold onto something and it was hope that gave me something to fight for.

There are alot of parallels between this year and in 2009; so many similarities that I have to shake my head as to its irony. I know many players involved in professional sports have their own types of inspirational stories, and I really don't consider my story any better or worse than theirs.

Life is a constant struggle and I believe that in order to be successful in life, you must not be afraid of taking a chance. That's really the beauty of sports, though. They allow you to take a chance on yourself and your dreams. Whether or not your ultimate goal actually happens, it is the journey that took you there that means the most.

With that thought, I'm going to go back in history a little.

Almost two years ago, I did a short blog on the story of Jimmy Valvano. I remember listening to his speech so many times as a kid, but it didn't sink in until I wanted to give up myself. When I heard Valvano say you need to know where you are and where you want to go, it all made sense. It helped me evaluate about what priorities I needed to make in my life and what things I needed to do to help me find happiness again.

The entry can be viewed here.

I think a lot about winning a championship. The thrill of what it feels like to win the big game.

I've never hoisted a championship trophy or been in a dogpile after clinching a title. It's weird to have played baseball for as many years that I have and never win a real title. I've won championships while in little league, but nothing more than a league title or a district championship.

While in high school and Australia, I did feel what playing in a championship game was like. In both of those contests, my team should have walked away with a title but each game ultimately ended in dissapointment. So because of that, I know what it feels like to be on the other side of a championship. The thrill of getting there is great, but coming up short is not an easy thing to swallow either.

The last feeling came in 2010, when I lost in the VBL finals with Essendon. That video can be seen here.

I don't know why in particular, but I've had a feeling from the beginning that things could be different this year. I'm holding onto that as I train everyday. A championship is something my journey needs; one that makes all of the sacrifices I've made feel real.

I'll leave you with a word from Peter, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6 -7)

God Bless.

My journey back to baseball (click on link)

"We acquire the strength we have overcome" - Emerson

My Kind of Life, My Kind of Town

Throughout my journey in baseball, I've dealt with a fair share of adversity. Whether it be the head injury I sustained, being released or overcoming fear, nothing has ever been really easy.

It's an experience that I have been able to grow under; one that has helped define the person that I am now.

My journey in professional baseball has seen its fair share of support. But, it's also seen a ton of displeasure, jealousy and sharp criticism. If I had a dollar for every time I have been told to grow up, get a real job or settle down and do something worthwhile, I would surely be richer than I am now.

Independent baseball is a unique agency in its own. The money isn't that great, travel is sometimes rough and facilities are not always up to standard. The media has a hard time committing to an unaffiliated team. Fans want "real" players and communities want the superstars they see on TV.

Truth is...not all of us will ever be that superstar, we aren't all the highly touted prospects you see in the media.

So, when I hear the words of needing to grow up and pursue a real job, it does make a bit of sense. I can admit that their words do make sense.

But, the great thing about this country is that you can be whoever you want.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You have the ability to achieve your own levels of happiness and some peoples' trash may be another's treasure. Variance is wanted in the workplace and the only thing that is consistent is the inconsistency.

This is why I love standing up to the naysayers and going against what all seems to make sense. Who drops out of graduate school for a chance to play baseball? Why would someone continue to fight for something that seems so far against the odds? What person in their right mind would leave a full-time job to pursue a childhood dream?

Me.

Life is more to me than money, fame or fortune. It's about going after something with your heart; to stare challenge in the face. I love being the underdog and with everything I overcome, my character is only strengthened.

So to those who reveal your displeasure with my journey in baseball, thank you. You're the ones that have allowed me to realize what makes me happy in my life. You've helped guide me towards what my priorities are in life, what thing I need to continue doing to bring me satisfaction. It's your challenge that I need as that extra push.

By the way, I recently signed with the Shaumburg Boomers of the Frontier League. The team is located right outside of Chicago, Ill., and my dream towards Major League Baseball continues on in the Midwest.

Perhaps Frank Sinatra said it best in the song "My Kind of Town",

"And each time I roam, Chicago is calling me home
Chicago is why I grin just like a clown
It's my kind of town."

I'll see you in Chicago.

God Bless.

Giving thanks to a blessed life; Living through a dream

In this life that we live in, getting caught up in everyday life is easy. To forget where you've come from, to lose track of past relationships, to not remember the footprints you left in past experiences - it's so easy to forget.

The holiday season allows for these types of things to be revisited. It's the time of year where one can catch up with others, share a laugh or two and recollect on the times that can still make you smile to this day. Thankfully, I have plenty of these experiences and through the grace of God, have come away with memories that will last a lifetime.

It's hard for me to not go back to that night in July two years ago. I've come to a realization that the bruises have disappeared and the scars have faded, but the experiences will never leave me. I have tried not to let the injury define me but have failed essentially, as it is something I cannot put away. The direction has been shifted to a positive one as the wisdom I have attained is for the betterment of a promising future.

Without the injury ever occurring in my life, I really have no idea as to where I would be. The degree of angst that I face at the moment may be non-existent and who really knows as to where I would be in terms of baseball. The answer will be forever unknown but one thing is for sure - I'm much happier now than I ever dreamed I would be years ago.

Here I am, giving thanks to the wonderful life I have been allowed to live, over two years since my accident. The times in the hospital following my surgeries saw some of the darkest times of my life but through it all, I have always tried to find the light. The light became really dark at times, almost unbearable to move any further but a goal of fulfilling a life of happiness has always kept me going.

It's brought me to finding a true love of my life.

As I approach my final semester of graduate school, I can only help but smile. I've seen the in and outs of the United States, traveled across the world to Australia, met the girl of my dreams and established a beautiful network of friends. I've recollected on a fantastic childhood and grown closer to a family that has always been by my side. Life is good, especially when I take a look back at the wonderful opportunities that God has blessed me with.

My walk with Jesus has been an issue that I've wanted to improve upon. At times I feel like I could never be closer, but in others, the path seems so distorted. The ground I walk on now is becoming stronger and hopefully I can continue to be guided in direction of the Lord. Religion is such a touchy subject nowadays and it's really hard to speak about it with others. The bottom line is to each is their own and nobodies stories will ever be the same. Everyone has been given their own walk and it is up to them to give thanks to the opportunities they have been given.

Giving thanks is an easy way to remember the happy times in your life. Try to remember the good times and bring back the fond memories you shared in making you who you are today. Nobody is perfect and making mistakes is easy, no matter how great you think you may be.

Thank you to all who have inspired me in my life and given me a chance when I was sure no other had existed. Thank you to those who opened your doors to me and treated me like a son. Thank you everyone who have never given up on me and helped me smile when things did not go my way. Thank you to you all who continue to inspire me and continue to show me that there is no limit in how far a dream can stretch.

You've allowed me to continue to pursue a life of happiness.

I'm one blessed kid that's for sure.

Chasing a Childhood Dream

Growing up, baseball never really seemed that difficult.

Working hard always seemed like a catch phrase as everything flowed ever so easily. Backyard games proved to be just the practice needed. Extra-curricular activity involved everything from four-square to capture the flag and basketball games to door-to-door lemonade stands. Baseball was fun and not anything less.

For what reason?

Because everything that revolved around it was just that.

As the journey grows and everything begins to speed up, things begin to morph into one another. Each passing season promotes a new sport that requires a different attention set. The competition begins to become stiffer and the work becomes harder and harder. Pitchers begin to throw on the same level and hitters are now evening out. The game is still fun but hard work is now the name of the game. This understanding, along with a genuine love of the game, are the wings that carry the player from JV to varsity and high school to college.

There are very few players that have the actual gift of playing professional baseball. Many walk right past how fortunate it is to play at such a stage. Regardless of which level, Independent ball to Triple-A, so many dream of being a Major League Baseball Player but for the majority, it's really just that - a childhood dream.

The vacuum rapidly sucks up the weak while the thirsty and unsatisfied continue the trek. The trek is long, hard and cold. It involves failures and disappointment at just about every street corner. The roller coaster ride is up to the individual to handle. A complete-game shutout one day sees the horror of an injured arm the next. A promotion to the starting rotation wears a string of bad outings and a demotion following it. It's the name of the game; something you must correctly handle in order to grow.

Then come the questions.

Is it worth the quest? How deep is your passion?

It's not overcoming being 5'2 as a freshman in high school or being cut from 4 different workouts, it's about the lessons you learned along the way.

It's not about being hit in the head by a line drive or struggling to find consistency when you need it the most, it's about the resiliency in your blood to keep going.

Is it your time to take a bow?

Or is this the beginning of a beautiful, eloquent and graceful encore?

This is Part One of "A Childhood Dream". Please stay tuned for Part Two.

A Change for the Better; El Paso to Chico

As I write today, I find myself at in Maryland and in the final stages of my two week vacation at home. It's been some time since I have posted and I understand that this layoff has left some with questions in regards to my whereabouts. Baseball, like it has for so much of my life, has been an active ingredient this spring and summer. There have been some success, some changes and some reflection.

Over the past four seasons, El Paso has been my home away from home. From my first appearance at Cohen Stadium and to where I am at now...It's been a good run and special four years as a member of the Diablos. I will never forget all the great people I have met and the friends that have quickly turned to family. It's been fun, some of the best times of my life. It's been a place where I've been able to learn and grow, a place where I've been able to establish who I am and where I want to go.

With everything good, though, things have to come to an end sometime. That time came just about two weeks ago as a fresh start has been something that I have needed. It was a decision that took some time to speak out about considering I had been throwing well and cherished several relationships I had with some of the guys on the team. Through it all, I will always be able look back and smile at the four years I had served in El Paso. The Sun City will always have a special place in my heart.

As to where I am at now, I leave for California on Monday afternoon being that I have signed on with the Chico Outlaws of the North American League. Chico, which is a town a few hours north of San Francisco, sits on the edge of the Sierras and is just a short distance from Reno and Sacramento. This move is something I'm looking forward to and I'm pretty stoked to be heading out to Northern California instead of the few other teams I had been speaking with in the South.

The second part of my professional career will jumpstart itself next Tuesday night as I'm scheduled to pitch the tailend of a doubleheader against Maui in Chico. I'm excited about the opportunity that lies ahead and know this I've been put in the moment by the grace of God. Now, it's just my job to make the most of it.

See you on the other side of the United States.

God Bless.

In Remembrance of Ray: My Brother on the Diamond

I close my eyes and I find myself laying down after a long day at the baseball field in Melbourne, Australia. It's late afternoon and I'm smiling. Although worn out, the recent good weather has me in good spirits and my recovery from a nagging injury has finally concluded. I retreat to my computer and check my email, comb over the scores from this weeks games and get on Facebook to hopefully catch up with a few friends from the United States. I laugh over some nonsense that one friend posts and grimace after seeing pictures of another's big weekend. I can remember looking on the screen as a message comes through. It says I need to call them as soon as possible and its about something important.

My smile soon fades and the feeling of a bad premonition begins to overcome my entire body. I make the call and I recall my hands sweaty, shaky and cold. The call connects and I hardly have a chance to say hello. I'll never forget what was said next.

Late last month, I recieved news that my childhood best friend, Raymond Eugene Rickett III, had died in our hometown of Ocean City, Md. Ray and I were inseparable as kids as we engaged in just about everything a normal set of children did. Days were never boring between us...drawing pictures of our favorite Baltimore Orioles players, playing the latest MLB video games, hour long surf sessions, or just having a catch in the street, Ray and I found ways to keep ourselves entertained. Hours turned into days, and days quickly turned into weeks.

Then there was Berlin Little League, the Phillies, and the All-Star teams. Ray and I began playing together on the 1994 Minor League team, the Berlin Red Sox. The team, who was coached by a man named Tito, was a fantastic group and it set the stage for what was to come for many years. After a few practice sessions before the season, Tito soon knew who his up-the-middle combination was to be.

In the stands stood "Big Ray" Rickett and "Big Dave" Whigham and the pair watched the magic as "Little Ray" nuzzled himself into the second baseman role and "Little Dave" accepted his role as the shortstop. Little did everyone know that we would be the pair that led the Red Sox to the Minor League championship then go on to win the first District 8 Title in Berlin Little League history as 10-year olds. The trend continued by posting the first undefeated 16-0 season in league history and then to a second-place showing in the title game in 1998 District 8 final.

As a kid, I never would have thought the two of us would ever grow apart. I imagined us being the best of friends forever, growing old in the same town and raising families next door to one another. I remember hearing every so often when I was younger about cherishing the friendships I had because once you grew up, things would chane. Even in middle school, Ray and I remained great friends as we shared many classes together and had crushes on the same sets of girls. It's times like these that chokes me up to this day, wondering where time has really gone.

Throughout my baseball career, I have had the opportunity of meeting many great people from a number of different backgrounds but the relationship I shared with Ray was just so much different. Whether it be the innocence of us just being kids or how we both came to love the game together, the bond we shared on the diamond was unlike any other. It was the thought that we could take on the world together that pushed us so hard and drove us so close. It's a feeling that through it all, can still bring a smile to my face.

The pain I feel today from Ray's death is something that holds great value to me. It's a feeling derived from the bonds that we shared, the childhood that we learned from, and most importantly, the friendship that we turned into a brotherhood. I plan on carrying Ray's legacy with me this summer and in all of my future endeavors in baseball. It kills me knowing so much time had passed since we had seen each other.

Through it all, its the memories and thoughts of our friendship that keep me going. Time most certainly heals wounds but the legacy of Ray is one that will be remembered forever. Forever in the hearts of the family he leaves behind, forever in the town that cherished him dearly, and forever in the veins of his friends that will always hold onto him. Rest in peace my dear friend, you'll always hold a special place in my heart.

A lesson learned in Australia

Over the course of my career, I've been lucky to keep my injury count low as I have been very good about keeping my body in the shape it needs to be in to perform. The program I have used was one that was instilled into me as a young junior player. Running, jobe bands, ice and compression...they have all been apart of this program that is aimed at recovering from the last outing and preparing for the next. The injury I sustained last July put me in a position that I had never had to deal with before.

Rehab.

Rehabbing from a fractured skull includes strengthening of just about every muscle group in your entire body. Whether it was the muscular atrophy of laying in an ICU bed for so long, the weight lost from having to ingest saline for a week, or even the flexibility lost from my body being so restricted for so long...I was faced with the full gauntlet of rehabilitation.

The rehab took me all over. Doctors appointments, physical therapists, late night sessions at the gym and pool and then eventually to Australia last January. But once I got done the rehab, it was smooth seas ahead. It was like I could actually see the positive results in my head before they even happened. I knew all my hard work to get back was going to make me that much better when I finally stepped on that hill again.

So, when I came back to Essendon for my second stint in Australia...everything seemed to set itself up for a big year for me. The hard work I was continuing to do, the fantastic second half I had in El Paso this past summer and the aching for a VBL championship all played parts into this. I wanted the ball as much as I could to begin the season so every opportunity to get it was one I would not pass up. I couldn't pass it up really...I mean wasn't the long for pitching again the reason why I actually got out of that ICU bed in the first place?

I pitched this fall and I pitched a ton. I was given a second job out here as well and was working with the junior programs extensively. Needless to say, my time to do things on my own was pretty thin. My arm felt strong though so my training and preparation took a backseat for the time being. The season started off picturesque and I was high flying. At one point though, one of our top pitchers went down with an injury to his hamstring and three of the top teams in the VBL loomed the following week for us. The Sunday game at Doncaster came and I threw seven solid innings. Two days later, I stepped back on the mound against Waverley for a two inning stint at Altona. The week was finally capped off with a six inning performance with a win at Cheltenham.

My line for the week was great...3 wins, 16 innings, a ton of punchouts. I felt good but began to feel some weakness in my elbow. It was a weakness that I tried to ignore and throw through but as much as I could mask the pain, I couldn't hide the results. My velocity had begun to plummet, I was beginning to have trouble sleeping at night on my right side and the swelling was so intense I could hardly bend my elbow properly. Eventually long toss ceased and bullpens began to shorten. Things were intensifying but I tried to ignore them, hoping they would go away on their own.

On the week before Thanksgiving, I threw at Doncaster again and we dropped a 3-2 decision...partly in part to my inability to stay on top of my sinker and extend on my slider. The loss was frustrating but I kind of put it away with a long run following the game, hoping that in the next day I begin to prepare for a win in my next outing. I was greeted the following morning with a elbow so swollen that movement had completely ceased. The slight touch against the ulnar collateral muscle provided a pretty painful response and pins and needles flew through my forearm. I began to think...it was all my own fault. And then just like that, it all came together to me in my head.

The unhealthy eating, poor training, and massive physical workload was the combination...and it was my elbow and body's way of telling me it was time to shut things down for a while. It hurt to swallow and after a visit to the physiotherapist and orthopaedic surgeon, I was diagnosed with the slightest tear (grade 1) of my MCL. It was back to the rehabilitation for this guy. It hurt, as I knew I was going to have to sit back, but overcoming an injury was something I had done before. Was I going to be able to sit back and let the healing take place?

Who was I to fool...sitting back has never been in my character. As soon as I can back, I was going to to.

And no one was going to stop me.