Baseball is fun again. I've found that love, that passion for the game.
I'm coming to the ballpark with a little kick in my step, a fresh arm and most importantly, a smile. The atmosphere is free and easy...almost like it was when I was that care free 10-year old little league shortstop.
I don't know if falling out of love with baseball is the exact diagnosis of what happened earlier this season because I never felt that I lost my passion for the game. I think, in laymans terms, my biggest problem was putting too much pressure on myself. I was trying so much harder than I needed as I was trying to prove to others that I was fully past this injury. As with all the goods and negatives in life, the past is the past and only so much emphasis should be placed upon it. I will never forget what happened last July but now understand that nothing can ever change what happened that night and its time to take what I've learned and move forward. I understand that many look towards my journey back to baseball as an inspiration but the reason why I came back in the first place was because I couldn't ever imagine myself away from the game. I loved it too much to ever want to leave it.
Somewhere along my journey, I lost my way. With a little fun back in Maryland, a few Phillies games, and a serious sun tan...that path has begun to straigten out.
Special thanks to TC (Tony Cornish) from Essendon Baseball Club, who I had the chance to catch up with in Philadelphia and share a great conversation about life with last week. Cheers to you mate!
I have been relegated to pitching in the bullpen to begin the second half with the Diablos. I think this is a good beginning step for me and I'm pretty excited about the opportunity ahead. In last night's game, I got up to throw in the late innings of a 2-1 game but did not get in. The juices were flowing, intensity was up, and nerves were harnassed.
What a perfect feeling.
I've spoken of a few things that I've learned throughout this process but one of the freshest is to "seize the day" or "carpe diem" if you will (thanks Dad). It's a pretty cliche saying and I often find it being overused but it really stands true when you're trying to achieve a goal.
One day at a time, one pitch at a time. Whether the goal for me is pitching in the big leagues, throwing consistant sink to both sides of the plate, or just happiness in general...living for the moment makes everything much more powerful.
Nobody can really predict what the future has to hold and as much as I'd like to be able to know what I have ahead of me in the next little while, I can't. I can promise you one thing though...win or lose, good outing or bad outing, I'm going to enjoy this game just like I did when I was a kid. The highs are not going to be too high and the lows are not going to be too low.
To conclude this post, I'm going to leave you with a exerpt from an article I wrote for SU Magazine this past spring:
"I reflected on the dreams that I had as young child.
The dream to be a big league baseball player took root
when I was four years old in the backyard of an apartment
complex on Eighth Street in my hometown of Ocean City,
MD. It was the dreams I had as a child that helped propel
me through my days with Berlin Little League and into
Stephen Decatur High School. These dreams helped define
me in my freshman year at Guilford College and through
the trials and tribulations I faced at Virginia Wesleyan
College. It was these very dreams that I hung onto as I was
cut from three different tryouts following college.
As I thought about those days this past August, I
remember smiling and thinking to myself, it’s time to get
back to business. It wasn’t time to give up."
God Bless.
