Humble Beginnings

July 2, 2009

It's been nearly a week since the three year anniversary of the head injury that I sustained in El Paso, Texas.

July 2nd will always stand as an anniversary to me.

It's a day where my world was changed forever; a time where I grew to become a stronger and better person. I've been able to see, feel and be apart of so many wonderful things since that day. The blessings I have received in it's wake are hardly describable through words.

All because God decided it was not my time to come home...

This date was particularly important to me this year because it was the first time I have had the chance to take the field on the day since I was injured. I was placed on the inactive list in 2010 and was recovering from a sore shoulder last year. Although I did not pitch on the date this year, just being active and on the field brought about an emotional day for me.

After my second brain surgery

Yes, the scars have faded and I have been able to regain my strength, but I will never forget what happened that day. As much as I have tried to forget it, I cannot and will never be able to. It's as much a part of me as anything in my life.

It's a day that I've grown to look at with a smile.

There are so many wonderful things that I have been blessed with since that day. Originally, I looked at the day as a time of misfortune and bad luck. The more time has passed though, I can see how much it has lightened my life. I have evolved into a new person with a much different attitude towards the world.

July 2, 2009 was a day that made me start over again. I had to begin taking small steps towards a new way of living. The time period after I was hit brought about its share of of darkness, insecurity and pain, but I never stopped taking small steps towards the big picture.

Happiness.

The injury date was a humbling experience that forced me to begin from ground level. It taught me about the importance of small steps and how the word of God cannot be sped up. He is going to do things in His time...not in mine.

I have learned that the process can be slowed down.

You have to start small to achieve your goal. So what does this mean for you? Start small today...

I'll leave you with a word in Zechariah 4:6, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by My spirit says the Lord Almighty"

July 2, 2012 ... three years later in St. Louis, Mo.

Victory in the name of Jesus

I'd like to begin in saying that this post may be one of the most difficult posts that I have had to write in recent times. I've taken on a substantial amount of adversity in my travels through baseball, but none may compare to what has happened over the past two weeks. This has been a period of deep reflection and confusion, as my world has been rocked to a degree that few moments of my life can compare.

Just two weeks ago, everything seemed fine. I had been throwing well and was really enjoying everything related to the game. The team was winning, a solid of turnout of fans were coming to the games and everyone was having fun. The situation fit just right; it was a place that I had longed to be a part of.

Everything felt perfect.

And then...two weeks ago, I received word the team had decided to go other ways with me. They had decided to trade me to the River City Rascals in St. Louis. To say that I was surprised may be an understatement, but I was respectful after hearing the news and accepted the change that was coming my way.

I said my good byes to my teammates and packed up my equipment. I wanted to be a part of one more round of batting practice with the team so I grabbed my glove and made my way to the field. I felt out of place for the first time while in Schaumburg, but I knew that had to embrace the new opportunity ahead.

River City is a team that is six hours south of Schaumburg and is located in O'Fallon, a small suburb west of St. Louis. I did not get into the game on my first day, but was ready in case the opportunity presented itself. The next day I had to drive into St. Louis to take a physical for the team. I figured it would be an easy process.

I was wrong.

To make a long story short, the organization failed me because of my prior head injury from 2009. The trade was cancelled and I was property of Schaumburg once more. The league would then give the Boomers a five day time period to decide what to do with me. The time passed and I found out on the last night that I would be granted a release. I was now a free agent.

My biggest fear in this world is to have my head injury be the reason my career is cut short. To be honest, losing the battle to it would be the ultimate blow to the person I have become.

I was now in this situation.

But how did I respond?...in every way, shape and form that I could.

I pressed. I panicked. I tried to do everything myself.

I saw a shattered baseball career and I figured that I was the only one that could resurrect it.

Days after the entire ordeal unfolded, a friend instructed me that I needed to lay it all down and let God take the reigns. It was the truth, but I was too stubborn to listen. I remember thinking, "How could God ever fix this situation?"

I thought that I was the only one that had the power to create change.
Then I went for a run in a park last Thursday night and realized that my friend was completely right. As I took some time to reflect after the run, I realized everything that I had been doing was wrong.

I then did what every Christian is taught to do.

I prayed. And I prayed a prayer that was longer and deeper than I have in recent times.

At that moment, I laid everything down. I accepted what had happened and what was about to happen. I was done with the push and told our Savior that it was now his battle to fight. For the second time in my life, I instructed God to take control of my life and guide me accordingly...

I was set to head home two days later and began to look at jobs back in Maryland. The last night I was supposed to be there, I stayed at a friend's house in St. Louis to relax before the long drive home. It was a good night, particularly because I did not feel pressured anymore.

Just as I turned my phone on that night, I saw that I had received a message.

It took my breath away. 

It was the Southern Illinois Miners on the phone and they needed a pitcher the next day.

Victory in the name of Jesus.

James tells us in James 1:1-2, Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

Surrender your life to God, he always knows what is best for you. God Bless.

A Solid Foundation

The initial stages of this year have brought everything from extra innings to blowouts and pitchers duels to hitting explosions. There has been much more baseball played than games normally provide as a handful of the contests have gone beyond just nine innings of play. The team is composed of just about every type of person you can imagine. There is an interesting dynamic in the clubhouse; a team that features class clowns alongside book worms and experienced minor league prospects suiting up next to recent college graduates.


It's an interesting mixture that is for sure.

When I first signed with the Boomers in March, I immediately saw that there was a focus on building a strong clubhouse. Whether it was the coaching staff thinking that was the key to a winning team or just my interpretation of it, the group assembled has worked well for the new franchise.There is variety for sure, but with it has brought success and a bit of fun.

A look at our record is enough to see this.

8-4.

From a player's perspective, there is nothing better than playing with a group of guys who have your back night in and night out. I often reference how things were in the past, particularly because I want the audience to see how much different things are around these parts of town. It is my belief that wherever you go there are always the select few that distinguish themselves on another level, but maybe that is just baseball. 

Life is really what you want to make out it, right?

Thinking about laying a solid foundation brought me to a passage from Matthew 7:25, "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

Much like Christians having a strong faith and a strong ground to stand on, a clubhouse must feature the same type of setup. When the going gets tough, a strong support group may be the difference between overcoming adversity or caving into failure.

Speaking of Christians, there is a strong group of us within the clubhouse. It's a group that is slowly growing. A brotherhood has begun to develop as several of us have been able to speak our thoughts on different passages and have been able to break them down amongst each other. A connection of being able to confess our sins and confide personal information has turned into a successful technique for us as well. I'm sure it will develop into positive and productive relationships that we all will be able to enjoy.

We leave bright and early tomorrow morning for Southern Illinois. Tonight's triumph is one that will surely carry over into tomorrow and it's one that we can all build on.

See you all in Marion.

God Bless.

Graduation and New Beginnings

It's been a while since I have last posted, particularly because my schedule has been so incredibly busy as of late. Whether it be training for baseball, finishing up with job in sports information or putting the final touches on my grad degree...I have been one busy guy. The past month has been an exciting time frame; a period where I have been able to enjoy change and accept new beginnings.

As I write to you today, I have received my Masters of Education from Salisbury University. My degree in Post-Secondary Education was one that did not come easy. It only seems like yesterday that I left my job as a sports information graduate assistant to pursue a career in professional baseball. The trips to Australia, seasons in El Paso and endeavors in Chico...all happened because of the risk I took resigning from my position in 2009.

It's a decision that I do not regret.

I returned to school this past year and my hard work has finally paid off. The entire process has been God's work in me; a stanza of my life that has taught me lessons that I will forever remember. I have learned more about life during this period than any other time previously.

God is good. Thank you for your graciousness.

As for baseball...

The Schaumburg Boomers are much different than any other baseball organization that I have played with in the past. There is class, structure and most of all, organization. It feels good to head off to a park that has order on how things are being done. It's a great incentive for players to perform on the field when they have such rewards to come home to at night.

Over the past few years, I have documented my time playing minor league baseball in several different cities. Whether it be seeing snakes in the clubhouse, pitching on fields that are spray painted green, having to ride on a bus to games for 24 hours at a time, playing at high school fields, or seeing an abundance of insects in the showers...I have really seen it all.

 In my four years with the same organization, I always wondered what it would be like to play somewhere else. I knew that things were better in other places, but always found reasons to enjoy the situation that I was in. The conditions never really bothered me all to much because I just wanted to play baseball. My dream of playing professional baseball would not be tarnished because of poor conditions. But again, there was always the temptations that raced through my head in regards to a change of scenery.

I wanted to feel what professional baseball was like off the field.

Well, my wish must have been granted. I'm in a situation now where everything is done the way it should be. From the front office down, everyone has done an exceptional job laying the groundwork for the Schaumburg Boomers. I know it is early in the season, but all the signs point towards this being an organization that is not only here to stay, but prosper as well.

It's an opportunity that I am blessed to have been given a chance to be a part of.

God Bless.

Unfinished Business

Over the past few years, I have documented my experiences in effort to have a written trail of this incredible journey I've been on. This entire blog has been therupeutic and fun, but it goes beyond just that.

I've been able to show, in writing, how I've felt in different stanzas of my life. I've displayed a mixture of emotion, some positive and some negative.

It goes without saying that the injury I sustained three years ago should have taken my life and my baseball career. I fully realize how blessed and fortunate I am.

As I begged the surgeons not put me into emergency surgery that July night, never did I think that three years later I would have the same ambitions I had prior to 2009. I always hoped that I would find it, but it was nothing more than hope. I was desperate to hold onto something and it was hope that gave me something to fight for.

There are alot of parallels between this year and in 2009; so many similarities that I have to shake my head as to its irony. I know many players involved in professional sports have their own types of inspirational stories, and I really don't consider my story any better or worse than theirs.

Life is a constant struggle and I believe that in order to be successful in life, you must not be afraid of taking a chance. That's really the beauty of sports, though. They allow you to take a chance on yourself and your dreams. Whether or not your ultimate goal actually happens, it is the journey that took you there that means the most.

With that thought, I'm going to go back in history a little.

Almost two years ago, I did a short blog on the story of Jimmy Valvano. I remember listening to his speech so many times as a kid, but it didn't sink in until I wanted to give up myself. When I heard Valvano say you need to know where you are and where you want to go, it all made sense. It helped me evaluate about what priorities I needed to make in my life and what things I needed to do to help me find happiness again.

The entry can be viewed here.

I think a lot about winning a championship. The thrill of what it feels like to win the big game.

I've never hoisted a championship trophy or been in a dogpile after clinching a title. It's weird to have played baseball for as many years that I have and never win a real title. I've won championships while in little league, but nothing more than a league title or a district championship.

While in high school and Australia, I did feel what playing in a championship game was like. In both of those contests, my team should have walked away with a title but each game ultimately ended in dissapointment. So because of that, I know what it feels like to be on the other side of a championship. The thrill of getting there is great, but coming up short is not an easy thing to swallow either.

The last feeling came in 2010, when I lost in the VBL finals with Essendon. That video can be seen here.

I don't know why in particular, but I've had a feeling from the beginning that things could be different this year. I'm holding onto that as I train everyday. A championship is something my journey needs; one that makes all of the sacrifices I've made feel real.

I'll leave you with a word from Peter, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6 -7)

God Bless.

My journey back to baseball (click on link)

"We acquire the strength we have overcome" - Emerson

My Kind of Life, My Kind of Town

Throughout my journey in baseball, I've dealt with a fair share of adversity. Whether it be the head injury I sustained, being released or overcoming fear, nothing has ever been really easy.

It's an experience that I have been able to grow under; one that has helped define the person that I am now.

My journey in professional baseball has seen its fair share of support. But, it's also seen a ton of displeasure, jealousy and sharp criticism. If I had a dollar for every time I have been told to grow up, get a real job or settle down and do something worthwhile, I would surely be richer than I am now.

Independent baseball is a unique agency in its own. The money isn't that great, travel is sometimes rough and facilities are not always up to standard. The media has a hard time committing to an unaffiliated team. Fans want "real" players and communities want the superstars they see on TV.

Truth is...not all of us will ever be that superstar, we aren't all the highly touted prospects you see in the media.

So, when I hear the words of needing to grow up and pursue a real job, it does make a bit of sense. I can admit that their words do make sense.

But, the great thing about this country is that you can be whoever you want.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You have the ability to achieve your own levels of happiness and some peoples' trash may be another's treasure. Variance is wanted in the workplace and the only thing that is consistent is the inconsistency.

This is why I love standing up to the naysayers and going against what all seems to make sense. Who drops out of graduate school for a chance to play baseball? Why would someone continue to fight for something that seems so far against the odds? What person in their right mind would leave a full-time job to pursue a childhood dream?

Me.

Life is more to me than money, fame or fortune. It's about going after something with your heart; to stare challenge in the face. I love being the underdog and with everything I overcome, my character is only strengthened.

So to those who reveal your displeasure with my journey in baseball, thank you. You're the ones that have allowed me to realize what makes me happy in my life. You've helped guide me towards what my priorities are in life, what thing I need to continue doing to bring me satisfaction. It's your challenge that I need as that extra push.

By the way, I recently signed with the Shaumburg Boomers of the Frontier League. The team is located right outside of Chicago, Ill., and my dream towards Major League Baseball continues on in the Midwest.

Perhaps Frank Sinatra said it best in the song "My Kind of Town",

"And each time I roam, Chicago is calling me home
Chicago is why I grin just like a clown
It's my kind of town."

I'll see you in Chicago.

God Bless.