I'd like to begin in saying that this post may be one of the most difficult posts that I have had to write in recent times. I've taken on a substantial amount of adversity in my travels through baseball, but none may compare to what has happened over the past two weeks. This has been a period of deep reflection and confusion, as my world has been rocked to a degree that few moments of my life can compare.Just two weeks ago, everything seemed fine. I had been throwing well and was really enjoying everything related to the game. The team was winning, a solid of turnout of fans were coming to the games and everyone was having fun. The situation fit just right; it was a place that I had longed to be a part of.
Everything felt perfect.
And then...two weeks ago, I received word the team had decided to go other ways with me. They had decided to trade me to the River City Rascals in St. Louis. To say that I was surprised may be an understatement, but I was respectful after hearing the news and accepted the change that was coming my way.
I said my good byes to my teammates and packed up my equipment. I wanted to be a part of one more round of batting practice with the team so I grabbed my glove and made my way to the field. I felt out of place for the first time while in Schaumburg, but I knew that had to embrace the new opportunity ahead.
River City is a team that is six hours south of Schaumburg and is located in O'Fallon, a small suburb west of St. Louis. I did not get into the game on my first day, but was ready in case the opportunity presented itself. The next day I had to drive into St. Louis to take a physical for the team. I figured it would be an easy process.
I was wrong.
My biggest fear in this world is to have my head injury be the reason my career is cut short. To be honest, losing the battle to it would be the ultimate blow to the person I have become.
I was now in this situation.
But how did I respond?...in every way, shape and form that I could.
I pressed. I panicked. I tried to do everything myself.
I saw a shattered baseball career and I figured that I was the only one that could resurrect it.
Days after the entire ordeal unfolded, a friend instructed me that I needed to lay it all down and let God take the reigns. It was the truth, but I was too stubborn to listen. I remember thinking, "How could God ever fix this situation?"
I thought that I was the only one that had the power to create change.
Then I went for a run in a park last Thursday night and realized that my friend was completely right. As I took some time to reflect after the run, I realized everything that I had been doing was wrong.
I then did what every Christian is taught to do.
I prayed. And I prayed a prayer that was longer and deeper than I have in recent times.
At that moment, I laid everything down. I accepted what had happened and what was about to happen. I was done with the push and told our Savior that it was now his battle to fight. For the second time in my life, I instructed God to take control of my life and guide me accordingly...
I was set to head home two days later and began to look at jobs back in Maryland. The last night I was supposed to be there, I stayed at a friend's house in St. Louis to relax before the long drive home. It was a good night, particularly because I did not feel pressured anymore.
Just as I turned my phone on that night, I saw that I had received a message.
It took my breath away.
It was the Southern Illinois Miners on the phone and they needed a pitcher the next day.
Victory in the name of Jesus.
James tells us in James 1:1-2, Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Surrender your life to God, he always knows what is best for you. God Bless.
